i'm insane

i'm not okay since then...many times i felt like floating... ndi na nga ako nag-iisip eh... pinag-aalala ko ung mga tao sa paligid ko... i've done things na ndi ko dapat ginawa.... ndi ko lam, ndi ako makapag-isip ng matino..masama ba na umaasa at masama bang humingi ng chance... nasasaktan ka na dahil wala siyang ginagawa -- na wala kahit na anong salita na naririnig sa kanya kundi ayoko..... na sa ng nangyari, gusto mo man lumaban pero ung taong pinaglalaban mo umaayaw na..... siguro walang makakaintindi sa kin...


nahirapan lang ako tanggapin un dahil wala naman problema eh... bigla na lang nangyari... i just don't want to regret one day na wala akong ginagawa to survive it..... ndi ko lam kung mahal pa rin nya ko, ndi ko lam.... ndi ko rin alam kung mahal nya ba ako o naaawa na lang siya sa kin... ndi ko rin alam kung san patungo ang lahat ng ito, umaasa na lang ako na magiging okay ang lahat at kahit ndi madali bumalik sa dati, MAGHIHINTAY AKO... tulad dati.... TULAD DATI....kahit ndi na tulad ng dati, kahit may mabago, ndi naman maiiwasan ang pagbabago, basta maging masaya lang KAMI pareho... gusto ko lang maging masaya sya...


sa totoo lang ayoko na mag-isip pa ng ibang bagay, ang gusto ko na lang ay maramdaman nya na masaya ulet siya.... ndi ko kasi maramdaman iyon eh... basta alam ko... IT TAKES TIME...just have to wait for the right time...

Pain still Strike!!!

i don't know where to pick up myself from this dilemma… its been a week since then… yet things are still complicated… I still don’t know what to do… i just couldn’t find a word to describe what I’m feeling now… I’m beginning to hate my self.. I don’t know what happen to me these past few days… I’m being too paranoid…can’t help but cry at night….

Being with him for the past 20 months is the best thing happen to me… just can’t help but smile for those times that we two laugh for a simple reason.. how we have help each other in times of problems…

Sometimes I ask myself, what went wrong.. what have I done?

I consider this as a TEST… To make this relationship grow much stronger…. I just hope, with God’s help… in due time, i will be able to forget the past and move to the next level… and continue what we have started. A very beautiful start deserves a lasting relationship, right? Am I asking too much!!!

TEST... TRIAL

masakit pala na isipin, ung akala mo na ok lahat, tapos ndi pla... pero wala ka magawa kundi iaccept ang lahat simply because you love him and its enough that you trust him... i just hope it wont happen again...

i'm thankful that somehow he told me about it and though it may hurt us both, he knew na yun ang makakabuti para sa aming dalawa... wala naman ako ibang nasabi sa kanya kundi mahal na mahal ko xa.. na ibinibigay ko ulet sa kanya ang tiwalang ibinigay ko sa knya noon...

now.....................

back to zero ulet kami..pero ok lang.. pasalamat lang talaga ako kasi ndi agad xa nggive up... na ndi nya agad ako isinuko... una palang ito sa pinakamalaking problemang na-encounter namin sa relationship na to...lam ko na dahil dito mas tumatag pa ang relationship namin... na mas minahal namin ang isa't-isa...

drama na to, pero totoo naman eh..... i believe "LOVE MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS".....

dy, love you so much!! and you know that...