i'm afraid to be alone

i'm afraid to be alone...wake up in the middle of the night without someone...jaz lyk wat happen at 12 midnight, i woke up, i feel so empty, i'm afraid...i dont see my brother i grew up with my lola, i used to sleep with her and my cousins, thats why i'm afraid to be alone in one room... i never get to used with that.....i'm weak in that sense....i really want to cope with that but i'm having a hard tym dealing with that...maybe i do have an autophobia or a monophobia or maybe Cleithrophobia.... or Cenophobia i really dont want to be alone...that all...

remember

my "ate" pays me a visit jaz this afternoon with her 2 children.. brandem and nina...how i miss yhem... nina knows how to speak na, the last time i'm with them ndi pa siya maalam magsalita...good thing nasa mama na nina silang dalawa... they used to be with their tita..mau nagyari kasi na unexpected kasya ganon...and now i'm happy knowing that they survive...

i miss you brandem and nina... hope to see you both again sometime..mwah

1st Anniversary..

i cried for two days.. our 1st anniversary was 6 days ago...but still i'm acting like this...well maybe because, there will be no more 1st anniversary..he told me that we will celebrate more anniversary together...i know we will...it just made me feel sad knowing that we haven't seen each other since May 7...we do talk..i called once in a while..we text if i'm not busy...

i'm still the selfish one here, right? i told him that i expect that we will not be able to see each other on our 1st anniversary...but i never thought it can came true...

we can do anything but to stare outside and see how the wind blows so hard, how powerful "Caloy" is......