Dreams

what a dream......? tama bang makapanaginipan ko na naman sya....?
ndi k0 na nga sya iniisip eh!!!

hayz, bakit na naman kaya?

and seems like s0brang nice nya sa dream na un....

i thought

4 months and i thought i have finally let my feelings g0ne...but then why does it seems that i still get affected with this things...when all i want to to simply forget...i just wanted to be happy.. i have mourned too much and too long...when i just thought am really okay, why this things have to happen to me.. i have let them be happy...i let them do what they want even if its hurts..


why do i have to feel empty again when i have more than 1 person who can make me feel complete....that person made me complete but then where i am n0w? am s0 lost, shattered......i hate this feeling coz i know i deserve my peace....



my story with that person has ended, but why does it seems that i still have this burden..? am tired of making myself happy and making other people happy even if am the one who will be hurt and be left...


am so tired!!!!


still am hearing the same voice... hearing the same words..words that just came out of that person mouth just to delude me and make me believe of a lie.....


why people have to lie? when all i want is the truth and a friend?



::ibang level na ang napasok kong relationship with you::
::mahihirapan rin ako without you, s0brang attached na ako sa yo::





why lie? when i need is truth?




why?

h0w can i?

nagsasawa na akong masaktan..s0brang masakit na...
ang hirap magtiwala sa mga lalaki..
nakakatak0t ng magmahal ulet..
the pain still strikes..
and yet
the one who can ease the pain
is actually the 0ne wh0 caused it!!!
terrible...!!
h0w can i be so numb?
h0w can i be s0 weak...?

video for the first time

tagal na nito eh...april pa..n0w k0 palang na-upload!! wahehehe *_*

open letters

blogging..blogging.. and blogging..

i just love blogging...

am here at ilaya.com, working while eating in front of my pc...

wahehehe, can't go home for lunch..

wahehehe

bianca mentioned in her blog that she recommend

writing an open letter coz that person might read it...


so i made this one:

kulot,

i, just want you to kn0w that i will always be a friend...and no matter what happen, n0 one can change the fact that you're my best GUY friend....all i want is to restore the w0nderful friendship we had....i know that it would take time and courage from both of us...s0brang nakapanghinayang naman kung dahil lang sa nangyari, our friendship will come to an end... am happy that you're happy, at ndi yun kaplastican...lam mo naman na kahit n00n pa, lagi lang ak0 nakasuporta sa mga decisions mo at ndi magbabago yun... i believe, we both matured enough para po maging magkaibigan ulet tayo..i h0nestly missing a friend i have in you..tulad po ng lagi ko sinasabi n00n, n0 one can replace you, you as my friend....mer0n nga ko dapat na i-email sa yo, but having a second thought of sending it to you, kasi feeling k0 ayaw mo naman ako maging kaibigan... i know, konti lang yung percentage na mabasa mo to, but then, if you'll be able to read this, the only message of it is that i really wanted to RESTORE the friendship... and that I MISS my LOLO KULOT.....my friend whom i can be myself, can cry with and laugh with...


abbhy:)

new envir0nment

nakakapag0d na..last week i'm so disturbed and b0thered by s0me thoughts i myself cant explain...am s0 tired and napupuno na ak0 sa mga nasa utak k0, but then, i still have to w0rk (xempre, need to w0rk, alangan naman maging tambay ak0 at pampasakit sa ul0 ng nanay k0...)its just that am tired of this feeling...pati na rin sigur0 ng mga tao sa paligid k0..i mean i've been w0rking f0r almost two years, same place, same pe0ple.. minsan nakakasawa na, per0 what else can i do...? sigur0 nga ndi na ak0 masaya sa trabah0 k0...kala kasi nila madali lang, yes madali lang talaga, per0 there are times na s0brang nakakapag0d, mentally & physically...ay0k0 magreklamo kn0wing marami naman naitul0ng ang trabaho sa akin...pati na rin sa kapatid k0....naghahanap lang sigur0 ak0 ng new envir0nment...new people, new experience....or maybe am getting b0red....wala na ung fulfillment k0...wala na urge to w0rk here, i dont kn0w why, per0 sa hirap maghanap ng w0rk tapos pr0blema pa ang MATA ko...san ka pa? kaya pr0blema k0 kung pan0 makakahanap ng w0rk...






Lord, am s0rry, am sobra na ata ak0ng nagiging pasaway at lagi ak0 nagrereklamo..ndi naman po...i dont have the right..kaya p0 binibigay k0 na lang p0 sa iny0 lahat... s0rry p0..

::umiyak na naman ako kagabi...dahil na naman sa kanya...kaiinis na nga ako eh....kasi nga sya walang pakialam sa akin, he d0en't even want us to be friends, tap0s sya s0brang nag-aalala ako kasi baka may pr0blem sya..i care t00 much for him but from him i am n0thing..::

gusto ko bawasan ang pag-aalala ko sa kanya..