thoughts

last night sobrang hindi ko maintindihan kong ano ba ang nangyari sa kin....i end up crying...thats why i type this message for my bestguyfriend (kung kanino ak0 nagsusumb0ng kapag kalaban ko ang lahat):
To: xyz_chrome
sna mkpagsumbong aman aku sau..:'(
gusto ku po sna mgshare ng sama ng loob tLad
nung college days nd ndi ko mshare sa iba..
xenxa na po ha, abala p0 ang text ko..God bless
and stay hapi...
natatakot kasi ako kagabi..s0brang dami nang nangyayari at alam ko naman na ndi ko un kayang i-control... maraming bagay na pdeng para sa akin WAG na lang per0 MASAYA naman sila...i wont let myself be the reason for someone to be unhappy (especially when i know i can't fill the empty space SHE feels inside) ayok0 maging selfish when it comes to her per0 s0brang nasasaktan din ako kn0wing that HER decision might hurt other people...or w0rst might ruin what was already there, though sabihin na nating may lamat na... she maybe the reason or not..things might get worst...i dont want another man ruin her dreams, yes, she maybe happy NOW but what about tomorrow, will she be happy the same way she is now..? I'm not against anyone else if i know it will make her happy, but not to the point na parang feeling ko kinukuha na sya sa akin.... feeling ko kasi unti unti na syang kinukuha sa akin and that i wont allow....she's my life....

+_+


naisip ko nga if ndi namatay ang tatay ko, my life is different from what i have right now.. i maybe graduated with a degree...my dad will surely w0rk hard for our education.. ndi ako nagkaroon ng boyfriend na kilala ng pamilya at ndi ako sa MSC nag-aral at ndi ko nameet ang mga taong naging malaking bahagi ng aking pagkatao..at marami pang mga bagay.... but then it was GOD's plan na maagang mawala sa amin ang dad ko... bigla ko na naman syang namiss... iba kasi talaga when you grew up with a FATHER...iba pa rin when you know it is your OWN BLOOD....


miss my dad s0 much, kung sana nakasama ko sya... T_T


+_+