HEART

Bilib ako how he protects what he has now, at least alam na nya how to value what he has.. But then, naiinis din ako, how he tends to forget or maybe neglect some people in his past life.. Considering that they are his friends.. As much as I value friendship and so are my friends, nakakahinayang na may mga taong hindi ko katulad pagpahalaga sa Friendship... I believe, those people in our past have a big contribution of what we have in present time and will also help us in our future, so we must not forget or even neglect them..

Change is inevitable, kung magbabago for GOOD or BAD..

Sana have a HEART to be considerate kapag may sinasabi tayo.. Don't be t0o harsh... Take it from me, alam ko na some time ago, naging inconsiderate ako and i honestly hurt them (or their ego), i made a mistake, and i feel sorry.. My apology..


Paano kung ang isang kaibigan wants to "thank you" for being part of his/her life.. In simple wa, he/she wants you to be a part of it, magagawa mo bang magsalita ng isang bagay na makakasakit sa kanya?


Want I'm saying is that, how you value you present should be the same way as you value your past..


* Once you love someone, that person is a part of your forever*
Happy Hearts Day!

@>--

I don't know why i'm writing now, but one thing is that i miss blogging.. No new things for me, aside from seeing my bestfriend Eka after 3 months and my Bestfriend Reyzon after almost a year.. Still, I'm stuck with life I need to change, more than anything I need to GROW.. I need new air to breath, new people to meet, new things from new life, new environment to help me grow.. I'm stuck with this life.. I'm not complaining. but God knows what this heart wants to, what this soul wants to.. I'm stuck because I'm afraid of taking my chances and I'm afraid of rejection, but then i know i have to ..

Jackie told me about a job opening where Ma'am Noreen work.. There's a Event Associate at S-Cube i've seen even early last year and still have 10 vacancies. I just don't know where can i find the courage of applying for these jobs and other opportunities..

One thing, I'm not inspired to do my job anymore... I'm hungry for growth, challenge and discipline and experiences.

The reason why i can't leave this job this that i know that i need here... And that my boss told me before that i should find someone to replace me.. But until now, no one at this moment is interested.. I wish there is... I can't leave because I want to keep what i said.. I just need someone to replace me..

What will i do?

Am i stuck here till i get old?

i wish not...

Rescue me!

Happiness

It's almost Christmas and this is the time to share not just the blessings, not just gifts nor any material thing but L-O-V-E... Four letter word but such powerful, meaningful word... Love can make someone s0 happy or make someone feel so bad... I hate how it turns to be painful for others, how it can break dreams and hope... How much it can give you so much happiness and how it can give so much pain..? And love it how it turn to be such a life changing for others and how it can make you feel like in a cloud nine.. Seems everyone can be so engross and in-love with Love...

I heard stories worth fighting for and stories that just have to let it go... I feel sad when it has to end and feel so good when it is being started... At the end, no one knows when will it end or will it last...


I've known her for almost 5 years... I've heard a lot of her stories from family to school, from love life and her life... She is a friend, I can consider my truest friend... She was there and always there for me - in my down fall and my survival and happiness. I envy her for having someone that i don't have.. I want to comfort her when she's so down because of that.

For her:
Tol, i know somehow you'll be able to read this and i wish you so well that you'll be able to find happiness within yourself and not with anyone else... I'm always here for you.. Rest for a while... Find peace and be strong... Sooner or later, things will get better, have faith...

( * ? * )

I'm tired of asking why.. its too much for me and i know its not good if i keep asking a million why in my life... since i still have no boyfriend since October of 2007, i keep pushing myself away of having a fact of having one... my family asked who will be the next and when, but i refused to tell them the reason why there's no one i'm seeing... i want to but in my nature, wala naman ako nakikilala... i have to, wala naman dumarating... i keep telling my best friend how i wish i have someone to be with, but as of now, wala eh... i can't force it to come, i don't find it, baka masaktan o ma-disappoint lang if hndi ko makita... so i rather be HERE, waiting... if GOD wants to... if GOD permits it to come.. i want it too.. how? where? who? and when? i don't know..

this is maybe the reason why i feel so alone... and somehow empty....


i need a life... i need to change my environment and things i used to do... its time to spread my wings and grow...

Extra Happy Birthday

i received a lots of birthday greetings, but two were special... yung message kasi maikli lang per0 pun0ng pun0 ng care at love..

i'm happy on my birthday....i celebrated it with my family, nothing can be more happier than that... and for the first time on my birthday, i went to my father's tomb to celebrate with him... it was s0mething personal and special, kasi i went there alone ( gusto k0 sana magtagal per0 natakot ak0 sa isang mamang lasing... ), talking to him, made me cry for a while... i told him that i really miss him kahit hindi k0 sya nakasama ng matagal... and even told him na i wish kasama ko sya, namin sya... my life would be different... its not that i want to change everything in my life...gusto k0 lang na sana he's still beside us... i asked him to hug me that time, kasi i want s0me comfort, pero hindi nangyari... i wish i had the chance... i really wanted to hug him, lalo na ngay0ng mga panah0ng ito... last night i asked also God na payagan ang tatay k0 na ihug ako, per0 sigur0, hindi pa pede...


kaming tatl0 (me, my m0m and my br0ther) ang sabay sabay na bumisita dun... kung buhay pa sya ngay0n, he's 52 na.. sabi nga ng m0m ko, he's t00 old na, kasi 11 years yung age gap nila... and 29 years naman sa akin, kay bunso 30 years siguro... nag-imagine pa nga kami, what he looks like... shempre, marami na rin syang puting buh0k... kamukang kamuka nya si buns0..

i really miss my tatay...


and then it i'm very happy and complete on my birthday!

nothing is constant but change

changes is inevitable.. and because of that, people get hurt, be able to hurt others and eventually lead to something w0rst or maybe good thing...


life is full of surprises... mahirap hawakan kung ano ang meron ka ngayon, kasi it might be gone sa hindi mo inaasahan... kaya nga siguro, we have to enjoy things while it lasts, enjoy everything kung ano ang meron sa NGAYON, kasi baka bukas, wala na... it sad but true... we can't say na naka-fix na because its not naman talaga.. people change and we can't do anything about it... we can't force them to stay the same...


just a thought - more of a question...


bakit may mga taong umaagaw ng happiness from someone else's happiness.. i mean, for example, you have your boyfriend, for less than a month, hindi kayo nagkikita because of your work or something like that, and then you found out, that his dating another girl... why, if that girl know that that guy is committed, still have to go on their way, i mean, of course i understand that, maybe the guy is pursuing it, but then when you know its wrong, bakit kailangan mo ipagpatuloy... when you know, its gonna break your girlfriends heart.. and change EVERYTHING...

its not bad to be happy, or wish to be happy, but then, its more peaceful and happy, when you know you're happy without having hurt someone else right?

i've read it and i share with you, "Just because something is good doesn't mean we should pursue it right now. We have to remember that, the right thing at the wrong time is still WRONG." This phrase says it all... i don't have to explain much further..

at the end, its not the third party that should be blame alone... because, it your other half pursue it, and you're happy, we can't do anything but let go..

pero kung kaya pa ayusin, why not... there's no harm in trying... and there's nothing wrong of making mistakes, (because we're only human, but we have to THINK...) when you know you'll learn from it and not commit the same mistakes...


(and by the way, i'm not saying this because i've been through this, but because i know, someone is going through the same situation, i hate the idea, but i understand both of them, and that i know i love them both...)


why stole someone's happiness when you can have your own..? why have to hurt someone to have someone who's someone else's happiness? I still don't get it...


I am not bitter..And this isn't about me... I love the person who's in this situati0n.. i love them both... i can't afford to see that person in vain - in pain...

this isn't the end of this post.. i'll update it sonner...

thank you!

if not for my best friend Erika, nakagawa na naman ako ng maling decision... she's always there for me not only to listen, and give advise (i mean GOOD advises) but she enlighten me and open my mind... she loves me that's why lahat ng sinasabi nya tinatamaan ako... she never fail to make me understand the things na naguguluhan ako... pero hindi sya nandidikta.. sarap ng pakiramdam having her as my VERY TRUE BEST FRIEND..

if not her, t*nga - t*nga na naman ako...

out ot boredom

i wish i was i child.. thinking nothing but to play around with friends...

all i want it happiness...


tapos bigla ko naman naaalala ung quote na binigay ko sa buong klase when i'm still studying... nakalimutan ko na ung mismong quote pero para sa akin ang meaning nun eh, "dahil you're searching for the happines, you tend to be sad and lalo hindi mo makikita ung happines na gusto mo.." Siguro nga that's the reason why SOMETIMES i tend to be sad, kasi, hindi ko nman hinahanap pero siguro naiinip lang ako kaya minsan malungkot ako...



kaya i WISH i am a CHILD....

>>>>>>sakit ng ulo ko mode<<<<<<<<<<<<

@?????@

i was hoping for something this year...


naiinip na ako pero sa prayers ko every night at kahit kelan ako magpray - i am praying for my happiness (shempre ndi lang naman ung happines ko, mahaba kasi ung prayers ko, ahihihi.).. naiinip na rin kasi ako, gusto ko na rin kasi ang "ma-inlove" ulet.. per0, wala pa binibigay si GoD para sakin... hindi naman ako nagrereklamo (sino ba ako para magreklamo dba?), siguro parang si GoD may gusto pa syang matutunan ako, na ako lang, na mag-isa ko lang matutunan... gusto ko ulet maranasan na magmahal at mahalin... ung kulitan sa text at kapag magkasama... stuff i love doing for someone special - some i love.. nakakamiss pero hindi pa nga ata eto ang tamang panahon... wish ko lang dumating na sya, SOON!... hindi naman po ako masyado demanding GoD, basta kung kelan alam nyo na i am prepared and deserving.. sorry rin Po kasi I'm asking TOO much from You at masyado na akong nangungulit... natatakot lang po ako na baka hindi ko na makaya na pasanin o ikimkim lahat ng feelings ko... wala na rin kasi akong constant confidant, maliban sa Inyo... ayoko naman po na magshare sa family ko, not becuase hindi ako close sa kanila, pero ayoko lang po na makadagdag sa burdens at problems nila.. kaya minsan i rather keep it to myself, even crying at night , sleeping at 3:00 am in the morning... i'm hoping for something that would make me feel so light and happy... i even asked myself, what have i done? i was so d*mn disappointed when i failed You, because, you still want me to hold on... i am...


but sometimes, i get tired and need a rest from feeling so alone... i know i'm not because i have the most wonderful family, not perfect but happy family... i want them to see that Abbie is matured and woman enough to face whatever i am going through... i can't help but cry when i thought nobody cares for me... even a single "How are you?" make a lot of difference.. i can't help but cry then smile, kasi may nakakaalala pa pala sa kin.. i feel so alone kahit there are people who still care and love me... hindi ko na nga alam kung san ako nanggagaling ang feeling na mag-isa ako, for in fact i have ALMOST everything... pero siguro nga, hindi lahat pedeng meron... GoD has its own way of making His people happy...

gusto ko lang na maranasan ulet na mahalin - pero this TIME for REAL not for REEL... ung kayang tanggapin ang AKO at kung ano ang hindi ako.. lahat kahit ng imperfections ko...

un lang...


happiness and peace of mind...



PEACE-LOVE-HAPPINESS!!!

lies versus truth

"pwede ba ulet kitang ligawan?"

hindi na nya alam kung matatawa sya sa kinikilos ng binata o maiinis dito...

sa tagal na nilang magkasama, alam na nya ang mga body language nito...

sabay sabing, "kailangan nating mag-usap."

"marami ng nagbago sa 'yo, "


>>> ngayon, hindi ko na maalala ang iba pang sinabi nya...yan na lang yung mga natandaan ko...


pati sa panaginip... bakit kapag hindi ko na naiisip saka dumadating yung ganitong instances...? nakakabaliw ang mag-isip ng mga ganoong bagay...

kasalanan ko ba ito?


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

its been a lost time... i don't know where i am... i'm happy... i'm contented... yet something is missing... busy na ang mga friends ko...

5 years ago...
bago lang ako sa school, walang kakilala, i chose the morning class, bakit nga ba morning class ang napili ko? kaya ayun, laging late... pero pumapasa naman ako sa mga exams, pero muntik ng bumagsak sa attendance... nagstart na ang klase... una, mga schoolmate nung highschool lang ang kakilala... hanggang sa makilala na ang buong klase sa tulong ng mga activities... iilan ang mga naging kaclose ko.. hindi naman ako mapili sa kaibigan... pero asan na nga ba ang mga iyon.. wala na akong balita sa kanila...


ung mga taong hindi ko inaasahang andyan sa panahong d0wn ako, dun ko sila nakilala.. hindi ako iniwan... bagkus mas minahal pa... ang aking TAOS PUSONG pasasalamat - alam nyo naman kung sino kayo...

hindi na ako katulad ng dati na s0brang bitter sa mga masasamang nangyari sa kin... maraming bagay ang pinagpapasalamat ko sa mga taong umiwan, humusga, nanakit, at tumira sa akin ng patalikod... maaaring hindi ko alam ang mga pangalan nila at ang rason nila para gawin iyon pero kahit matagal na ito, natutunan ko na patawarin sila kahit na napakasakit at mananatiling may sugat o bahid nito... pero ito ang nagpatatag sa akin... akala ko noon wala akong nagawang kasalanan para madeserve ito, pero kahit ngayon hindi ko alam ang nagawa ko sa kanila - humihingi din ako ng kapatawaran.. sa aking mga nasabi, nasulat na maaaring nakasakit sa kanila.. patawad po...


patawad na naging selfish ako... patawad kong na-deprived ko kay0 na maging masaya sa umpisa pa lang... at salamat at ngayon alam ko na tot0o..Hindi man ang buong katotohanan pero sapat na para ako'y malinawagan...


sa huli, isang pasasalamat at kapatawaran...

shock absorber

i wasn't myself lately... when i'm busy (not actually busy, but when i'm doing something or talking to someone) i'm OKAY... they would probably think that i'm STRONG.. i am a JOLLY person.. a person who love to laugh and play (just like a child).. but i am not.. i am dying inside.. i feel like i am alone, even though i am not... i am blessed with life... i have friends (well, they're all busy with their lives), i have my family (supportive family, though there are times i feel like i don't belong, at sa sarili ko pang pamilya, i just felt like no one cares for me, even them).. there are times i think of how it feels to be taken care of... it's not that i NEVER felt like that before, maybe, no not maybe, i miss being taken good care by someone, when n0 one is there.. when nobody care, but that person...

i told my best friend about it, and she told me, that i am not... maybe wala silasa tabi ko physically, per0 lagi silang andiyan for me...and she told me that i can be strong.. and i know that i need to be one... i have to be one...


i choose to be single, not because i'm not yet over my past, but because, hindi ko pa nakikita o nararamdaman ung love ulet... i'm getting tired being single, pero, i'm not gonna let it kill me... don't want to seek for it, i want to come it naturally, when GOD wants me to..kahit na gusto ko mainlove ulet, wala pang binibigay ulet si GOD sa kin... perhaps, GOD is preparing some0ne very special... s0me0ne He knows i deserve... i'm praying for it... i am prepared for it... namimiss ko na yung time na in love... na parang i can shout for joy and love and contentment.. ahihihi, lumalabas na naman kasi ang pagiging hopeless romantic ko, hehehe.. i just miss being in love...


sana dumating na sya before Christmas... ahihhihi, nagrequest pa ng date ng pagdating...


people might see me strong and laughing, but inside, i'm crying, dying..

**?????**

i'm having a hard time sleeping na naman... my job, of course is affected... i came late every morning, but my mind and body can function naman okay... nagagawa ko na naman ung trabaho ko ng maayos... marami nga akong trabaho na rush eh.. per0 i'm not complaining naman kasi, okay naman na ganun... my brother told me to st0p thinking things... eh hindi ko nga lam kung ano nga ba ang nasa utak ko... kaya nga siguro gustong gusto ko na busy ako para kahit pano mawala na ung kung ano man eto... ang hirap ng pakiramdam na parang lumulutang ang utak... i'm getting tired... i don't know why it seems that until now, wala pa rin ang peace of mind na GUSTONG GUSTO ko... wala naman ako tinatapakang tao... nanahimik ang buhay ko.... hindi man colorful ang buhay ko tulad ng iba pero masasabi ko rin naman na masaya ako... ayoko ng ipakita ang WEAK na ako... gusto kong makilala rin ako sa pagiging STRONG ko... na KAYA ko.. kahit minsan gusto ko ng sumabog.... (nakakaawa na ba ako?) i'm making myself strong, for my own benefit... i know i should...


i need my peace of mind... the only thing i wanted... T_T

after a very long period of time, i am back for blogging... hindi kasi ako madalas mag update kasi naman s0brang dami kong iniisip parang nakakapagod na... at ngayon, may sleepless nights na naman ako o kung hindi s0brang late na kung makatulog...

masaya naman ako ngayon.. lalo na at may sariling business na ang family namin... ang Madrileño Restaurant.. ang butihin kong ina ang magpapatakbo nito kasama ay kanyang 2 kapatid na babae... sa wakas, nakaalis na rin ang nanay ko sa anino ng kanyang boss na walang ginawa kundi maliitin ang kanyang kakayahan... patawad po pero sa dami ng masasakit na salita, sa aking pananaw, hindi lamang bilang anak, kundi bilang tao, hindi deserving ang nanay ko mga salitang binitawan niya... at bilang anak, masakit na maraning ang mga iyon... sa 16 years of service ng nanay ko sa kanya, hindi nga nakuha ng nanay ko ang mga benepisyong dapat ay sa kanya... pero tapos na un.. nakabawi na rin naman kami.. ang maaaring sabihin na lang ay SALAMAT.. salamat sa experience at knowledge... :)


at ako... si abbie...

asan na nga ba ako?


hindi ko na nga alam kung asan na nga ba ako...


masaya naman ako.... ang tanong, kelan, kanino at paano muling titibok ang puso ko..?? ang lalim ahihi.. pero sa tot0o, namimiss ko na ung tipong inaalagaan at may inialagaan... ung tipong kakampi kapag badtrip na badtrip na ako sa mundo... ahihihi, nakakamiss lang... kung sana matutunan ko nang mahalin si gab.. sana sya na lang... pero, pasaway ata ang puso ko... kahit gaano KA-GUSTO ng UTAK ko na mahalin sya, ganun naman ang pag-tanggi ng PUSO ko.. nakakainis db? eh di sana mas maganda at mas tahimik ang buhay ko... sana sya na lang diba?

inspired by blogger like me..

maraming beses na sa pag-update ko masyado akong SELFISH.. come to think of it, lagi na lang about myself, my sadness even my happiness.. ang buhay na ko walang extra ordinary... hindi ko nga naiisip ung ibang bagay... maaring aware ako sa pagtaas ng pamasahe, krimen sa buong bansa, (lalo na sa lalawigang kinabibilangan ng San Pablo... nitong buwan ng Mayo, dalawang magkasunod ng karumaldumal na krimen ang nangyari... ang pagkamatay ng sampo (10) katao sa RCBC, Cabuyao Branch... ilang araw matapos ang krimen, walo (8) ang walang habas na pinagbabaril sa Calamba Laguna, pati ang mga inosenteng bata ang nadamay... nasabi rin sa balita na ang Laguna ay isa sa mga lalawigan na maaaring i-link sa Drugs.. ) kontrobersiya sa gobyerno at marami pang iba... pero ngayon, nakabasa lang ako ng post sa blog ng isang blogger na tulad ko... topic nya: Global Warming... ako na lang ata sa mundo ang hindi nakakaalam ng t0t00 at buong katotohanan ng isyung ito... maaring ang ilan sa limapung paraan para masulosyunan ito ay nagagawa ko per0 hindi pa rin sapat bilang isang taong dapat mangalaga sa ating kalikasan, kung hindi paano na tayo kapag tuluyang nasira ito..

isa lang naman po ang nais kung iparating... maaaring sa simpleng mga ginagawa natin sa araw-araw ay maaring makatulong para maisaayos at maisalba ang aking kalikasan at ang MUNDO... maging responsable po tayo bilang naninirahan dito...


share ko po sa inyo ang blog id nya para mabasa nyo rin.. pati na rin ang Blog Award Challenge.


http://klitorika.blogspot.com/2008/04/read-and-push-to-start.html


http://www.theblogawardchallenge.com/


salamat po at GoD Bless!

something weird

i don't know what's happening.... its just that most of the time, i feel like something is holding me back from making decision... and its bothering me..


i want to do things i believe i should have done for a long time...


but here i am..


still undecided..


confused...


lagi na lang kapag gusto ko ng gawin ang bagay na 'yun lagi na lang susulpot kahit sa panaginip... unconsciously, parang un ang nagsasabi sa kin na huwag.. but then it was long overdue... i should have done this a long time...


eto na ung time eh... baket kasi hindi na lang ako patahimikin? hindi naman ako nanggugulo.. i'm making the most out of this life... nahihirapan na rin ako na, i woke up in the middle of the night with clear vision of my dream - or maybe a nightmare... i have almost everything, except PEACE OF MIND... kung alin pa ung gustong gusto ko... i'm tired and exhausted... i want to have it yet ang ilap.. ang hirap ma-achieve...



kaya na lang laging nakukuwestiyon ang buhay ko... kung bakit ganito? kung bakit ganyan? kung bakit hindi? at marami pang bakit? nakakapagod.. nakakainis.. minsan kung pede na lang sanang magtago na lang ako o kaya bigla na lang ako tumigil na isipin at pansinin ang mga sinasabi nila.... nakakapagod na rin... nakakasawa...



ang gusto ko lang maging masaya at magkaroon ng PEACE OF MIND...



masama ba un? s0bra ba ung gusto ko?



hindi pa ako karapat-dapat...?


pagod na pagod na ako....



------------------

nakalimutan ko na anniversary pala ng blog ko last may 17... 3 years of blogging... ang nag-iisang outlet ng buhay ko on cyberspace... 3 years and still counting right...


sad that it reminds me of something -- someone!!!!

overwhelming

it is my dream t0 be accepted.. from who i am, what i can be and what i am not... to be loved and to feel the warmth of acceptance.. my dream to feel the welcoming arms of people close to the one i love...


i am not a perfect girl they see.. am just an ordinary girl with an ordinary dream with an ordinary beliefs in life... am open about things my environment has..


it wasn't intentional, i was being myself and enjoying every single moment.. but i am very happy that they like me... it is overwhelming.. it is extra-ordinary... this is the first time i feel like i belong.. i feel like i home... it's different and though i feel shy and somewhat uncomfortable, i am happy...


its just that i feel like asking myself, have i done somethings special about it? i guess none... as i've said i'm being myself... am just being me...


others may not see it before, maybe they have different way of showing their acceptance or maybe - just maybe - showing their affection and approval....


have a great day....

2 Heads Are Better than 1

after a month of puyat, pagod, bonding, at kung anong anik-anik pa... natapos na rin namin ang invitation, exactly sa deadline namin... (April 26, 2008) and it feels great to hear compliments... hehehehe, and i love it... first time kasi makagawa eh, tapos sa special couples pa... ang saya db? with the help of jacq: "tol sobrang thank you, ndi lang sa help kundi pati sa bonding time..nakakamiss db?"

eto po ang sample... ahihihi

this is the final look, with the envelope... ahihi

ano masasabi ny0?

front sheet.. sweet nila db?

Bikoy and Bikay Nuptial...

Top Sheet

Bridal Entourage

Secondary Sponsor

Alcos-Bombita Numptial

Reception

*** sweetness***

ilang araw na lang at Wedding Ceremony to be solemnized at Saint Francis of Asisi Parish Church on the 10th of May 2008...

...excited na nga ako eh...

hehehe

May the Unconditional Love of our Lord Jesus Christ bless them...

Best Wishes in advances ate bhel and kuya bikoy...(~_^)

just updates

i've been signing in and signing out for sometime..nag-dadalawang isip if magpo-post ako ng bago dito..just to update sa mga nangyari sa kin this past few weeks... masyadong maraming thought kaya parang nagra-ramble na sila sa utak ko.. kaya siguro pakiramdam ko s0brang napapagod na ako..

WEDDING.
for 5 weeks ko inasikaso ang invitation nina ate bhel at kuya eng.. s0brang dami ng isipin at kung pano mapapaganda ang invitation (for the 1st time nakagawa ako nun, para pa sa mga special na tao... *happy*).. at kahit na pagod at puyat, i had fun... sabi nga ni jacq, lahat ng emotions andun na.. tuwa, takot, lungkot, badtrip,kilig, asar, epal at kung ano ano pa... at ito na rin ung pinaka matagal na bonding namin ni jacq.. kasama si aj at gab... minsan na nga lang umuwi si jacq sa Rizal.. malaking abala ang nagawa ko, pero WORTH IT aman eh.. hindi na rin ako makapaglaba... for 3 consecutive Saturday.. pero to top it all, WORTH lahat ng pagod... ilang araw na lang at BIG DAY na nila...
** pictures - soon!***

FAMILY
madaming nangyayari sa bahay.. pero hindi naman pedeng iupdate ko lahat dito.. kahit konti naman eh dapat magtira ng privacy.. its just that it makes me sad everytime maiisip ko ung problema dun.. (actually ndi aman matatawag talaga na problema ng pamilya, pero apektado talaga ako, one way or another).and i am afraid sa mga pedeng mangyari.. i just wish i have someone to share it with, para gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.. *sad*


LOVE
matagal na akong walang lovelife.. more than a year na... i had flings but then serious relationship wasn't meant for me.. i mean, ndi kasi ako ung tipong mabilis ma-inlove eh... kaya nga siguro may ibang taong nag-iisip na hindi pa ako nakaka-moved on after my failed relationship.. pero napapagod na rin ako mag-explain eh.. napapagod na rin akong idepensa ang sarili ko, so ngayon, wala akong pakialam if un ang pinaniniwalaan nila.. i know myself better... hindi naman ako ipokrita, i still care about him but not because i love him still but because we are friends.. ipokrita man o showbis ang dating sa iba.. i don't give a d*mn.. *wala lang*


WORK
sobrang naiinip na ko na dumating na ung month ng July... i am hoping for new things to come and new people to meet.. plus the fact that i can explore the real world.. kailangan ko na rin mag-asikaso ng papers, Passport for my future plans... sobrang tagal ko nang hinihintay ang chance na to.. madami na rin akong napalampas ng opportunity sa labas ng trabaho ko... hirap kasi ako sa salitang "GOODBYE".. but then, we have to move on and we have to make a choice...i am not getting any younger, hindi naman bumabata ang tao... i have plans for myself and of course for my mom... tama naman siguro na isipin ko ung future ko db? well, kung tuuusin, malapit na rin aman.. sa bilis ng panahon, madali ng lilipas ang mga buwan, baka bukas July na.. *happy*



........ GodSpeed!!!!.....

sadness under the heat of summer

its been a long time since i updated this blog.. I've been busy with the Wedding Invitation for Ate Bhel and Kuya Reniel... With help from Jackie, matatapos na sya before mag April 20 (sana aman)... masaya aman kasi s0brang daming ang nangyari.. but before that, Congrats to the Graduates of Batch 2008.. My best friend ERIKA, to Kuya Gerald, and Gab... congratz guys.. new beginning, ayt?


Hindi naman ako s0brang malungkot, as a matter of fact, masaya naman ang buhay ko.. Hindi naman ako naghahanap ng "someone or the other half of me".. masaya naman ako kahit mag-isa... tulad ng lagi kong sinasabi, marami na ako natutunan sa pag-iisa ko... simple things that can make me happy.. simple hi from those who remembers.. simple gesture and kindness.. simple compliments....

nalulungkot lang ako, that somehow, dahil sa pagpili kong mag-isa... nakakalimutan ko na nakakasakit na ako ng tao... matagal na NYA ako iniintay... tinatanong ko na rin ang sarili ko, kung umaasa na lang ba sya sa WALA... ayoko kasi pilitin ang sarili ko, ayoko dumating ung time na susumbatan ako dahil sa mga magagawa ko..hindi man sya ganun, natatakot pa rin ako... honest naman ako sa kanya.. alam ko na kahit sabihin nya na walang problema, hindi maaaring hindi maapektuhan ang naumpisahan naming magandang friendship... masyado na akong nadala sa ganung bagay..


i am ready for a relationship but scared... scared i can not fulfill it.. dahil alam kung iba ang ABI NOON at ABI NGAYON... kung sana kaya kung ibalik ang DATING AKO... ung kayang sumugal para maging masaya ang 1 tao... kung kaya ko lang na MAHALIN SYA.... kung kaya ko lang...

:( life wont be the same

changes is inevitable... it makes me sad at times...
i wish i can go back to those days i am sure what i want...
i wish i can go back to those days i am sure what can make me smile...
i wish i can go back to those days i am sure what can make me feel COMPLETE...



current mood:

*** so sick... so sleepy***
***wanted to rest ***