after a very long period of time, i am back for blogging... hindi kasi ako madalas mag update kasi naman s0brang dami kong iniisip parang nakakapagod na... at ngayon, may sleepless nights na naman ako o kung hindi s0brang late na kung makatulog...

masaya naman ako ngayon.. lalo na at may sariling business na ang family namin... ang Madrileño Restaurant.. ang butihin kong ina ang magpapatakbo nito kasama ay kanyang 2 kapatid na babae... sa wakas, nakaalis na rin ang nanay ko sa anino ng kanyang boss na walang ginawa kundi maliitin ang kanyang kakayahan... patawad po pero sa dami ng masasakit na salita, sa aking pananaw, hindi lamang bilang anak, kundi bilang tao, hindi deserving ang nanay ko mga salitang binitawan niya... at bilang anak, masakit na maraning ang mga iyon... sa 16 years of service ng nanay ko sa kanya, hindi nga nakuha ng nanay ko ang mga benepisyong dapat ay sa kanya... pero tapos na un.. nakabawi na rin naman kami.. ang maaaring sabihin na lang ay SALAMAT.. salamat sa experience at knowledge... :)


at ako... si abbie...

asan na nga ba ako?


hindi ko na nga alam kung asan na nga ba ako...


masaya naman ako.... ang tanong, kelan, kanino at paano muling titibok ang puso ko..?? ang lalim ahihi.. pero sa tot0o, namimiss ko na ung tipong inaalagaan at may inialagaan... ung tipong kakampi kapag badtrip na badtrip na ako sa mundo... ahihihi, nakakamiss lang... kung sana matutunan ko nang mahalin si gab.. sana sya na lang... pero, pasaway ata ang puso ko... kahit gaano KA-GUSTO ng UTAK ko na mahalin sya, ganun naman ang pag-tanggi ng PUSO ko.. nakakainis db? eh di sana mas maganda at mas tahimik ang buhay ko... sana sya na lang diba?

inspired by blogger like me..

maraming beses na sa pag-update ko masyado akong SELFISH.. come to think of it, lagi na lang about myself, my sadness even my happiness.. ang buhay na ko walang extra ordinary... hindi ko nga naiisip ung ibang bagay... maaring aware ako sa pagtaas ng pamasahe, krimen sa buong bansa, (lalo na sa lalawigang kinabibilangan ng San Pablo... nitong buwan ng Mayo, dalawang magkasunod ng karumaldumal na krimen ang nangyari... ang pagkamatay ng sampo (10) katao sa RCBC, Cabuyao Branch... ilang araw matapos ang krimen, walo (8) ang walang habas na pinagbabaril sa Calamba Laguna, pati ang mga inosenteng bata ang nadamay... nasabi rin sa balita na ang Laguna ay isa sa mga lalawigan na maaaring i-link sa Drugs.. ) kontrobersiya sa gobyerno at marami pang iba... pero ngayon, nakabasa lang ako ng post sa blog ng isang blogger na tulad ko... topic nya: Global Warming... ako na lang ata sa mundo ang hindi nakakaalam ng t0t00 at buong katotohanan ng isyung ito... maaring ang ilan sa limapung paraan para masulosyunan ito ay nagagawa ko per0 hindi pa rin sapat bilang isang taong dapat mangalaga sa ating kalikasan, kung hindi paano na tayo kapag tuluyang nasira ito..

isa lang naman po ang nais kung iparating... maaaring sa simpleng mga ginagawa natin sa araw-araw ay maaring makatulong para maisaayos at maisalba ang aking kalikasan at ang MUNDO... maging responsable po tayo bilang naninirahan dito...


share ko po sa inyo ang blog id nya para mabasa nyo rin.. pati na rin ang Blog Award Challenge.


http://klitorika.blogspot.com/2008/04/read-and-push-to-start.html


http://www.theblogawardchallenge.com/


salamat po at GoD Bless!

something weird

i don't know what's happening.... its just that most of the time, i feel like something is holding me back from making decision... and its bothering me..


i want to do things i believe i should have done for a long time...


but here i am..


still undecided..


confused...


lagi na lang kapag gusto ko ng gawin ang bagay na 'yun lagi na lang susulpot kahit sa panaginip... unconsciously, parang un ang nagsasabi sa kin na huwag.. but then it was long overdue... i should have done this a long time...


eto na ung time eh... baket kasi hindi na lang ako patahimikin? hindi naman ako nanggugulo.. i'm making the most out of this life... nahihirapan na rin ako na, i woke up in the middle of the night with clear vision of my dream - or maybe a nightmare... i have almost everything, except PEACE OF MIND... kung alin pa ung gustong gusto ko... i'm tired and exhausted... i want to have it yet ang ilap.. ang hirap ma-achieve...



kaya na lang laging nakukuwestiyon ang buhay ko... kung bakit ganito? kung bakit ganyan? kung bakit hindi? at marami pang bakit? nakakapagod.. nakakainis.. minsan kung pede na lang sanang magtago na lang ako o kaya bigla na lang ako tumigil na isipin at pansinin ang mga sinasabi nila.... nakakapagod na rin... nakakasawa...



ang gusto ko lang maging masaya at magkaroon ng PEACE OF MIND...



masama ba un? s0bra ba ung gusto ko?



hindi pa ako karapat-dapat...?


pagod na pagod na ako....



------------------

nakalimutan ko na anniversary pala ng blog ko last may 17... 3 years of blogging... ang nag-iisang outlet ng buhay ko on cyberspace... 3 years and still counting right...


sad that it reminds me of something -- someone!!!!

overwhelming

it is my dream t0 be accepted.. from who i am, what i can be and what i am not... to be loved and to feel the warmth of acceptance.. my dream to feel the welcoming arms of people close to the one i love...


i am not a perfect girl they see.. am just an ordinary girl with an ordinary dream with an ordinary beliefs in life... am open about things my environment has..


it wasn't intentional, i was being myself and enjoying every single moment.. but i am very happy that they like me... it is overwhelming.. it is extra-ordinary... this is the first time i feel like i belong.. i feel like i home... it's different and though i feel shy and somewhat uncomfortable, i am happy...


its just that i feel like asking myself, have i done somethings special about it? i guess none... as i've said i'm being myself... am just being me...


others may not see it before, maybe they have different way of showing their acceptance or maybe - just maybe - showing their affection and approval....


have a great day....

2 Heads Are Better than 1

after a month of puyat, pagod, bonding, at kung anong anik-anik pa... natapos na rin namin ang invitation, exactly sa deadline namin... (April 26, 2008) and it feels great to hear compliments... hehehehe, and i love it... first time kasi makagawa eh, tapos sa special couples pa... ang saya db? with the help of jacq: "tol sobrang thank you, ndi lang sa help kundi pati sa bonding time..nakakamiss db?"

eto po ang sample... ahihihi

this is the final look, with the envelope... ahihi

ano masasabi ny0?

front sheet.. sweet nila db?

Bikoy and Bikay Nuptial...

Top Sheet

Bridal Entourage

Secondary Sponsor

Alcos-Bombita Numptial

Reception

*** sweetness***

ilang araw na lang at Wedding Ceremony to be solemnized at Saint Francis of Asisi Parish Church on the 10th of May 2008...

...excited na nga ako eh...

hehehe

May the Unconditional Love of our Lord Jesus Christ bless them...

Best Wishes in advances ate bhel and kuya bikoy...(~_^)

just updates

i've been signing in and signing out for sometime..nag-dadalawang isip if magpo-post ako ng bago dito..just to update sa mga nangyari sa kin this past few weeks... masyadong maraming thought kaya parang nagra-ramble na sila sa utak ko.. kaya siguro pakiramdam ko s0brang napapagod na ako..

WEDDING.
for 5 weeks ko inasikaso ang invitation nina ate bhel at kuya eng.. s0brang dami ng isipin at kung pano mapapaganda ang invitation (for the 1st time nakagawa ako nun, para pa sa mga special na tao... *happy*).. at kahit na pagod at puyat, i had fun... sabi nga ni jacq, lahat ng emotions andun na.. tuwa, takot, lungkot, badtrip,kilig, asar, epal at kung ano ano pa... at ito na rin ung pinaka matagal na bonding namin ni jacq.. kasama si aj at gab... minsan na nga lang umuwi si jacq sa Rizal.. malaking abala ang nagawa ko, pero WORTH IT aman eh.. hindi na rin ako makapaglaba... for 3 consecutive Saturday.. pero to top it all, WORTH lahat ng pagod... ilang araw na lang at BIG DAY na nila...
** pictures - soon!***

FAMILY
madaming nangyayari sa bahay.. pero hindi naman pedeng iupdate ko lahat dito.. kahit konti naman eh dapat magtira ng privacy.. its just that it makes me sad everytime maiisip ko ung problema dun.. (actually ndi aman matatawag talaga na problema ng pamilya, pero apektado talaga ako, one way or another).and i am afraid sa mga pedeng mangyari.. i just wish i have someone to share it with, para gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.. *sad*


LOVE
matagal na akong walang lovelife.. more than a year na... i had flings but then serious relationship wasn't meant for me.. i mean, ndi kasi ako ung tipong mabilis ma-inlove eh... kaya nga siguro may ibang taong nag-iisip na hindi pa ako nakaka-moved on after my failed relationship.. pero napapagod na rin ako mag-explain eh.. napapagod na rin akong idepensa ang sarili ko, so ngayon, wala akong pakialam if un ang pinaniniwalaan nila.. i know myself better... hindi naman ako ipokrita, i still care about him but not because i love him still but because we are friends.. ipokrita man o showbis ang dating sa iba.. i don't give a d*mn.. *wala lang*


WORK
sobrang naiinip na ko na dumating na ung month ng July... i am hoping for new things to come and new people to meet.. plus the fact that i can explore the real world.. kailangan ko na rin mag-asikaso ng papers, Passport for my future plans... sobrang tagal ko nang hinihintay ang chance na to.. madami na rin akong napalampas ng opportunity sa labas ng trabaho ko... hirap kasi ako sa salitang "GOODBYE".. but then, we have to move on and we have to make a choice...i am not getting any younger, hindi naman bumabata ang tao... i have plans for myself and of course for my mom... tama naman siguro na isipin ko ung future ko db? well, kung tuuusin, malapit na rin aman.. sa bilis ng panahon, madali ng lilipas ang mga buwan, baka bukas July na.. *happy*



........ GodSpeed!!!!.....

sadness under the heat of summer

its been a long time since i updated this blog.. I've been busy with the Wedding Invitation for Ate Bhel and Kuya Reniel... With help from Jackie, matatapos na sya before mag April 20 (sana aman)... masaya aman kasi s0brang daming ang nangyari.. but before that, Congrats to the Graduates of Batch 2008.. My best friend ERIKA, to Kuya Gerald, and Gab... congratz guys.. new beginning, ayt?


Hindi naman ako s0brang malungkot, as a matter of fact, masaya naman ang buhay ko.. Hindi naman ako naghahanap ng "someone or the other half of me".. masaya naman ako kahit mag-isa... tulad ng lagi kong sinasabi, marami na ako natutunan sa pag-iisa ko... simple things that can make me happy.. simple hi from those who remembers.. simple gesture and kindness.. simple compliments....

nalulungkot lang ako, that somehow, dahil sa pagpili kong mag-isa... nakakalimutan ko na nakakasakit na ako ng tao... matagal na NYA ako iniintay... tinatanong ko na rin ang sarili ko, kung umaasa na lang ba sya sa WALA... ayoko kasi pilitin ang sarili ko, ayoko dumating ung time na susumbatan ako dahil sa mga magagawa ko..hindi man sya ganun, natatakot pa rin ako... honest naman ako sa kanya.. alam ko na kahit sabihin nya na walang problema, hindi maaaring hindi maapektuhan ang naumpisahan naming magandang friendship... masyado na akong nadala sa ganung bagay..


i am ready for a relationship but scared... scared i can not fulfill it.. dahil alam kung iba ang ABI NOON at ABI NGAYON... kung sana kaya kung ibalik ang DATING AKO... ung kayang sumugal para maging masaya ang 1 tao... kung kaya ko lang na MAHALIN SYA.... kung kaya ko lang...

:( life wont be the same

changes is inevitable... it makes me sad at times...
i wish i can go back to those days i am sure what i want...
i wish i can go back to those days i am sure what can make me smile...
i wish i can go back to those days i am sure what can make me feel COMPLETE...



current mood:

*** so sick... so sleepy***
***wanted to rest ***

Heart and Soul Under Renovation

I’m not good with words… Most of the time I’m lost of words… many times, I am misunderstood by words I used… maybe that’s why I hurt people without noticing it or even if I do, its too late.

My life seems boring… my closest friends are busy either with work or with their studies.. my best friend Erika is in Singapore, working and having the time of her life and I am very happy for her… Rose Anne is in Manila (same as Erika), working and enjoying life… now that she and her sister live on their own (which I want and love to do for a very long time)… Ghaye for sometime, visits me every time she has time.. Acel is busy seeking a job, I barely see her, and we never had a constant communication… but its okay… we know that we are friends.. Aside from them, Mel, Jacq and Gab are busy with their studies, now that Gab is on his last year… Jacq, as she told me, is busy with her academics… Mel, well he just too busy with her studies and her cyber world, hehehe… my Kuya or my shoulder-to-cry on D5 is busy with his work (its been a long time since we talked… I miss how he became my hanky and I will always thank him for those times…) after my failed relationship with my best guy friend (whom for 4 years been my constant kuya, clown, hanky, punching bag, companion, friend, adviser, confidant, so on and so fort… which reminds me that life after all is not a fairy tale), I never had a CONSTANT OTHER HALF… to share my thoughts.. pain and happiness, failure and success, tears and laughter.. after that I feel so alone.. empty.. broken… living dead.. scattered… THAT WAS BEFORE… it took me a while before I got back to reality.. it took me a while before I could sleep soundly.. and bring back my lost appetite… I remember that I almost kill myself working.. I love over time that time… I never ate breakfast and by that time I barely eat my dinner and even lunch… a tablespoon or two, will do, just to please my mom and brother… I lost almost ¼ of my original weight… I never thought of my failing health, for that time, what I want is to die… which until now, I REGRET… and the last thing is that I forgot that I still have a life.. life to live.. to enjoy.. to cherish and to prosper… how much happiness brought this for me is the same pain I got from it.. I never regret any decisions I made… perhaps, the only thing I did wrong, is the fact that I hurt not only myself, nor the person I used to love but my FAMILY.. the only thing I knew that particular days are pain that kill every single piece of me..

THAT WAS BEFORE…

I’ve learned so much from that experience… Vanquished by the power of it..

And because I am not good in words.. this is half of what I think my life is…I accidentally browsed this one from a writer (I don’t remember her name..) hehehe

“My heart is neither here nor there.. Not that I lack “significant others”. I’m just having one of those blah days when my heart just refuses to feel too much all over gain.. as I told my best friend ***, “girl bakit ganon? Parang pagod na akong makipagrelasyon (the thing with me is that I’m not tired of getting into relationship, I just had one, so bakit mapapagod)… Di ko na ‘ata kaya magseryoso!’ Her reply struck me, “di ka pagod, girl. Takot ka lang.. (bulls eye, I just felt so afraid..) sa dami ng pinagdaanan mo sa love.. di mo na alam kung sino ang sincere at sino ang hindi..

“So is my heart just tired of going through the whole gamut of emotions or has it become so afraid of what it wants the most? (my heart seems to be so afraid that it may be scattered again into tiny little pieces) They say love is the answer.. now it’s the questions…

“Considering all the emotional investment I’ve wisely (and unwisely) made many heartbeats and heartaches ago.. my heart feels like its on the brick of bankruptcy.. is there any heart out there that’s worthy enough to be a safety deposit box of all my leftover dreams and desires?”(though it will not be the same as before, for me...)

“I’ve been through hell and back in the name of love.. Now, my heart is in limbo.. how long before I get to Paradise?” (my heart is in limbo, same as her...)

My auntie, even my brother, told me to give Gab a chance, not only him but give myself a chance... my heart is in limbo... i don't want to force myself to commit when in the end, i might hurt him... the only problem with me, being single, is what other people would say.. either they say I'M YET OVER WITH MY EX.. THAT I STILL LOVE HIM.. but one way or another, i don't care... i know myself, and i know i'm over him.. he'll be forever loved by me, because, he's not just an ex-boyfriend, but a FRIEND... for others it may sound hypocrite, but that's the truth.. that's what i know and believe.. its been a year, we both have our lives (separately... we are not a constant textmate.. we never had hellos and hi every day, but we know that in both ends we have each other as friends...) i never had grudges in my heart... only acceptance and forgiveness.. i'm happy now that i can do things on own... i'm happy that i'm the old me... changes maybe inevitable but what good about it is that i mature .. if not trusting again maybe a childish act, perhaps i'm just afraid of some sort of another rollercoaster ride of emotions...how i love to LOVE... Bianca Gonzalez said: " the worst and best thing about love for me is how it is my greatest weakness but it's also where i draw my greats strength from.. "

love bring us immeasurable happiness but can also give us unbearable pain..

my heart is NEW..

my soul STILL UNDER RENOVATION.. where only GOD can renovate...

great day...

i never thought that it could be like this.. i am very much thankful na sa oras na yun, God is with me...i felt His presence, telling me "You can do it!, Its now or never." God made it possible... it was nerve wracking, i felt i was shaking... i was very nervous yet thank GOD i put those thoughts into words...


this 2008 has been very good, though maybe, it was on the 2nd month, i don't care... things for me are falling to its right places...

i am happy.. i am blessed..

gladness & overflowing happiness....

good thing na hindi na ako malungkot... good news that i've learned so much with this crazy life i have... and thank GOD for those... though as a normal human being, minsan naiisip ko pa rin sya... well, maybe because it WAS a very memorable and taught me a lot of things... things i need to learn to survive this cruel & full of fakes yet worthwhile journey of what we call LIFE...

being alone might be (for someone) sad and lonely, but for me, it wasn't that sad and lonely after all.. when you find every day without someone to share every bit of it, you'll learn to know more about yourself... as for me who choose to be alone for sometime now, learned to redeem myself from my sweetest yet drastic fall...

natututunan ko na kahit masaktan ako, hindi dapat tumigil ang buhay... lumaban sa lungkot at sakit... natututunan ko rin na maging positive the way i look about life... sabi nga sa Stuart Little, laging may SILVER LINING, hehehe, but it is very true...naging mas positive na ako sa lahat...i smile more often... laugh from the heart and can be seen on my eyes.....at higit sa lahat mas naging mas MATATAG...


isan na lang ang hindi ko matutunan.. ang mag-TIWALA ulet... darating din naman un...


SA TAMANG PANAHON...


^_*

questions and why?

i'm just blessed with a family who never fail to understand and listen... a family whom i can always count on.. a family whom i can run to when the whole world turn its back on me... i had this conversation with my closest auntie (my mom's sister).. sa s0brang dami naming napag-uusapan pati lovelife ko eh nauungat na rin... she knew that after my failed relationship, hindi pa ulet ako pumapasok sa relationship... it is because, i am not ready... not because, hindi pa ako nakakaget over... its been a year na... naka-moved on na ako... nakatulong kasi ung pag-accept ko sa bagay bagay... the only constant thing in this world is Change... at kapag nagawa mo na mag-FORGIVE, mag-ACCEPT, everything will follow... pinagkukwentohan nga nila ako, nung bumisita ung pinsan ko sa bahay... baka daw hindi pa ako makakarecover or baka nagkakausap pa kami kaya ganun... pero for me naman wala naman problem kung magkawentuhan pa kami, we're friends..


i'm not in a rush to enter to another relationship... kahit na sinasabi nila na baka isipin nya, kaya hindi pa ako napasok sa relasyon ay dahil may feelings pa...kahit wala na, ayoko pa rin mag-explain sa kahit na sino... i don't owe them that... it is my choice, and even if i am single, i am very much happy with my life... being single for the last 12 months had been a lot of fun, a lot of learning experience... it's not bad at all... but then, i am not hypocrite, there are times, that i asked myself, BAKIT NGA BA HINDI PA?... may mga willing naman, pero ako nga ang problema eh... sarili ko na kasi ang kalaban ko... hindi ko na mabalik ung tiwala sa iba... but i'm not closing my doors naman...

my friends were telling me, NAIINIP na kami... i wonder why? hindi ko naman sila binubuwisit araw-araw, maliban na lang kung may topak ako ..


so to my friends, wag kayo mainip, if its GOD's will, darating naman eh... we just have to let God takes over things, just like what i am doing...

trying to..

just trying to reconstruct my page... my page seems boring (just like my life)....

this is what my background should be...

hope to finish it this weekend...

JOURNEY OF FRIENDSHIP

i wonder... i always have negative thoughts about myself, but i am changing it... i realize that i have IT... i am blessed with lot of people who love me and care for me - who appreciate me... my eyes almost teary when my best friend whom loves me so much told me about her plan... not just for her but for me... it was overwhelming that i couldn't speak a word... she makes me feel so love and appreciated... that's why i love her so much too... that every single tear i cried, she cried to0.. exactly opposite of my personality but then we both know that we are BEST FRIENDS... no one can replace her... i'm having a hard time thinking of words to describe the feeling.. GOD knows how grateful i am of having her in my life... she brings out the best in me... we've been through ups and downs.. as normal people, we had our misunderstanding and most of the time, we had a lot of fun... kapag kasi kasing ugali nya, magka-clash talaga sila, hehehe... i miss her so much... and from now on, i know i have to change, learned not to degrade myself, and that i have to believe in myself, believe in my capacity as a person... natatawa ako sa kanya, kasi naman, naiinip na daw sya na ma-IN LUV ulet ako... gusto na daw nya na maging happy ako... masaya naman ako eh, un nga lang, somehow, i feel like something is missing... simple lang ang hiling nya sa akin eh... ung maging happy ako... and tulad ng sabi ng isang kaibigan, i have to find it not with anyone else but WITHIN ME... i was just too negative about myself... and i know i have to learn to change it... because it doesn't doing anything positive... she thought me how to be strong and how to actually face it...


this song might be for couples, but this is exactly what my best friend erika has been for me and for any one else....

Because You Love Me
(Celine Dion)

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

from the sinner...

i hate being like this... but i have to let it out, if not i maybe crazy n0w.... thank GOD for the pen and paper.... now, it helps me, now that i have burst and put my thoughts into w0rds....

many words were spoken... w0rds maybe uttered as a lie or even a truth... i hardly fall in love... am not the type who's easy to fall in love... i need time to fall... and i don't force myself to fall... my few trusted friends used to tell me, you deserve to be happy.... that i deserve a second chance and likewise for those who wants to love me... but the hardest part of it is, when YOU, yourself tends to be frightened.. tends NOT to believe to such... it may seems easy for those, but for me - the problem is IT IS NEVER EASY FOR ME... i tend to think of negative things....


i will only lie if i say that, i never wanted to start again.... because, as my friends were telling me, 'IBA PA RIN KAPAG MERON'... someone wh0 will be there...


the only question left is - WHERE DO I START?

WOULD I BE ABLE TO TRUST AGAIN?

Blessed New Year!!!

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008!!

My New Year Resolutions:

• Be more patient
• Be more careful
• Pursue my hobby
• drink a lot of water
• sleep more
• smile and laugh more often
• be happy about life
• try not to cry
• try not to be too sensitive
• love myself a little more
• and finally to LOVE AGAIN {harhar, a j0ke}

a had a rollercoaster ride this 2007.. i've been very happy but sometimes sad... i cried... i mourned.. i laugh... i smile.. and not that i have forgotten the pain, it is proven, GOD has a better plan for me... in the end of the day, i'll be happy, even not the same as before, but i will be MUCH happier...

i will spend my 2008 with much fun and HOPE...


cheers to 2008!!

Merry Christmas

Christmas is over... just like the old time, i celebrated it with my family... though there are changes... harhar, my first christmas without someone to exchange my loveyous, harharhar, (and this time am getting used to it na..) my christmas routine has change, sad but it is my choice.. i chose to be alone this christmas...

*****

my christmas, supposed to be a HAPPY christmas, but then, unintentionally, s0me0ne spoiled it.... why is that? i don't know... someh0w, that person chose to be insensitive by that time... never thought it was Christmas... what the heck...? i was damn happy by that time... but then, what can i do... ? sin0 nga ba ako para maisip nya na s0meh0w, it will make me feel so down ?(na naman....) but i guess, things drastically change, and that can't be help...

****

i hope you're happy...

*****

i hope i can change the whole thing... but i know it w0nt happen... If this is GOD's Will, wh0 i am to question it? HE knows what makes me happy... and i know that in the end, HE will give my daily prayer... i just have to wait, patiently...

****

well merry christmas and have a blessed 2008...

may our Savior bless us with good health, love, happiness and success and of course

CONTENTMENT.......

Have a GREAT HOLIDAYS...

happiness

am having a hard time thinking what would be my subject will be for this post and where to start... a lot of things keep running into my head but i can not put into words... so i decided to put happiness as title... why? i don't know...hehehe

i just realized that people are not always nice.... even if you're nice to them...not all can appreciate things you do... as they say, you can't please everybody... while my friends and best friend love me as what i am, some says am maarte.. i am, per0 i know that my being maarte suits my personality... ndi ako maarte in a sense na nakakasakit ako... maybe there are times na naiinis ang iba sa akin, and i keep asking myself, eh baket sila ndi ko aman pinapakialaman.... naniniwala kasi ako na kung un sila, un na sila.. nobody can't change that, but themselves db? as what i see, hindi ko alam baket ganun pero eto aman ako, nagpapakatot0o.. gina-judge nila ako dahil lang sa kung ano ang nakikita nila... ndi pa nga nila ako nakikilala ng ayos... pero dahil nga i can't please everybody, wala na ako magawa... basta ang alam ko, my friends, my colleagues and best friend loves me.... and that won't compare to those who judge me....

.......


i had these few SMS conversation with a friend... and it always making me laugh... its the topic and the reply that making me laugh... i can't help it... that person really fascinate and amaze me for some reason... nauub0s na nga ang pera k0 kalo-load.. ndi lang naman kasi sya ang katext ko eh... natatawa na nga ako minsan... pero namimiss ko na rin ang sarili ko, wh0 used to laugh with s0meone... naiisip ko na nga na, its time to trust and love again... pero naku naman, its too far from now... gusto ko kasi s0meone na gusto k0 din.. ung enj0y kausap, ung may sense, ung napapatawa ako.. someone i can call a friend also... wala pa ulet ako nakikilalang ganun... though okay aman na mag-isa ako ngayon, siguro nga namimiss ko rin ung mga kung ano anong kaek-ekan sa isang relationship... its been long over due... almost a year ago had passed... its time to love yet i can't find one... (ndi aman ako naghahanap... i know darating na lang yun,when GOD allows it to come...) HE has a plan for me... and what ever it is WHO I AM TO QUESTION HIS WILL, right?

......

am happy for those special people in my life who found their happiness.

> jacq with jayzon
> jayne with benjo
> lan with grejiel
> reyzon with kat
> rose with mhael
> best with her bf (can't mention his name, heheh)
> kuya mykel with tina
> sir d5 with mam joy
> jona with his hubby and their daughter
> ghaye with faisal
> acel with her long time boyfriend..
> and for those who found their happiness with their someone...


let love be alive and what ever happens, hold on....

....

i made this one for myself... hahaha
wala lang... experiment, hahaha

GREEN DAY

it was out of my plan to attend the alumni homecoming...it was saturday so when i woke up that day, as usual, i clean the house [naglaba na ang nanay ko, hehehe, late na ako nakatulog eh, s0 late na rin ako nagising...>:) ] .. at late afternoon, jacq texted me, asking if pupunta kami ni ghaye [per0 walang ghaye na nagparamdam the day before, kaya lam ko na sa bahay lang ako that day, with my saturday routine... STAY AT HOME, WATCH T.V., TEXTING, SLEEPING and EATING, wahehe] ... wala naman talaga ako balak pumunta dun... i have reasons... una, dahil wala aman dun ang mga kabatch ko, busy silang lahat sa w0rk... kung mer0n man, malamang si Sir Alfritz at Reyzon lang ang andun [plus kabatch na technician, ndi ko aman kclose, not even kabatian sa school before].... pangalawa, tinatamad din ako lumabas ng bahay... nagtext lang si jacq na tatambay muna sya sa house namin habang inaantay si jayne..

i told her, na sabihin kay jayne na s0brang miss ko na sya... per0 dahil ndi nga ako mapilit ni jacq na umattend ng alumni, si jayne ang pumilit sa akin... even forced me to take a bath [ ndi pa ako nakakapaligo that time, dahil wala nga akong balak umalis ng bahay, kaya late na ako maliligo plus malamig pa...] kaya kahit wala sa plano ko ang pumunta dun napapunta ako ni jayne, telling me na ndi aman kami magtatagal dun.... eksakto aman, nakagreen si jayne that night, ndi ko napansin, pagbaba ko lang nakita...napansin nila na i was wearing my green [actually moss green ] blouse.... hehehe, pagdating namin dun, s0brang natuwa ako seeing kuya mykel and jayzar, sa s0brang katuwaan ko, naghug ko si kuya... [how i miss my friends!! :( ] tapos un nakita namin si kulot [ wearing GREEN], tapos ung bandang tumugtug, GREEN din ang suot... at ndi lang sila...madami pa rin ang nakagreen... so i declared that night at GREEN DAY.... ahihi.. tapos i was in owe when i saw AI-AI..s0brang invisible kaya sya.. minsan lang magtext..at take note, nakaGREEN din sya... i thought that night would be b0ring and all... but then, when my friends were around.... s0brang nakakatuwa... andun si kuya lauro, si rev, si albert, si resty... basta s0brang naging masaya at enjoy aman...



we had a great night... we unexpectedly enjoyed it and we had a lot of fun!!!!

thanks to jacq, jayne and ai...

happy with new life, new home..

finally, my mom decided to rent a house for us... its been long over due and we are hurt by what his boss were telling... we are very much thankful na sa loob ng 10 taon na pagpapatira sa amin sa kanyang restaurant ay naging okay naman ang buhay namin... free food..free lodging..free water and electricity... pero sabi nga ni mama sol, hindi habang buhay, mabubuhay kami sa libre... its time na, na tumayo sa aming mga paa.... saka para na rin mabawasan ang mga masasakit na salita... s0bra s0bra ang pasasalamat namin sa kanya.... malaki ang utang na loob namin sa kanya...


sabi nga, new house, new life, new journey... at maraming maraming maraming pagtitipid.....

almost a month na kami dun, and as of now, wala pa aman nagiging pr0blem, aside from mga kulang pa na gamit sa house... am just enjoying our new life and our new house.... cia0...


till next post.....

current mood: not so happy... my head still ache (3 days na...)